I have a recent history of nasty anxiety attacks, which got bad enough a few months ago for me to decide something had to be done. Amongst other things, I've made the decision to try and think myself through them instead of letting myself simply fall victim to the insanity. I'm happy to say things have been going very well so far, and I think I can even say it now gets easier to overcome every time.
David was in Germany over the weekend. A boys' football tournament organised by work. His usual trips are business trips and weekdays, so I'd normally book a taxi to meet him at the airport. But since he was landing at a decent time and at the weekend, I thought that maybe I could go and meet him at Gatwick myself.
I'd never driven to Gatwick before. And big, new things like this (well, big to me) will usually set off an anxiety attack, and I'd then chicken out. But it's all about pushing boundaries now, forcing myself out of my restrictive comfort zone.
So I drove to Gatwick.
Then the rain picked up.
And there was fog.
The wipers were going so fast they looked like they might fly off.
Traffic was going 20mph on the motorway.
I couldn't see the car in front of me, or the one behind me.
I couldn't see lanes, I couldn't see exits.
And on top of it all, my eyes were itching because of my blasted hayfever.
More than enough to trigger an anxiety attack, you'd think. True - but it didn't. Emily finally fell asleep. And it may simply have been that most of my energy was going into not rubbing my eyes, but I didn't panic at any point.
I got to Gatwick half an hour before David's plane landed, which gave Emily about 20 minutes to melt the hearts of an entire group of Irish teenagers and then have a little wander around the terminal.
I didn't want to push my luck, I asked David to drive on the way back and of course there wasn't a drop of rain all the way. It certainly was a baptism by fire for me and my next drive to the airport won't be anything as scary as this one was, which made me all the more proud to have done it - and to have calmly survived!
[image cred: Viv King]
This blog is now closed. The story continues over on Flip Flops and Flying Carpets.
Thank you for reading.
Thank you for reading.