Unfortunately the heat also comes with a down-side. Emily's new room is one of the hottest in the house. Of course we knew this when we moved her up, but honestly - how many very hot days do we get? We just figured we'd ride through it. Then last night we realised just how hot it gets. 33 degrees, the baby monitor told us. I felt so bad. I took the fan into her room to try and cool it down. She was already in just a vest and nappy and leaving her window open made no difference whatsoever (other than to bring in lots of neighbourhood noise that unsettled her further).
Turns out she is afraid of the fan.
Splendid.
We had to take it back out and once we did, she eventually settled down and slept. I took the fan back in and that brought the room down to 30 degrees. Not anywhere near the 22 degrees she's used to sleeping in but it would have to do. She woke up at 1:30am, saw the fan and freaked out again.
Tonight I tried to trick her into thinking the fan wasn't there by putting it outside her room, directing the air flow into her room. I am guessing she knew it was there anyway. She screamed for almost 1.5 hours straight, refused to be held, refused to be in her cot, until she eventually wore herself out enough to fall asleep.
I feel awful. And I feel like I've let her down. We've moved her into a new room - granted, it's a room she loves to be in - but then to know that she'd have slept so much better through this heatwave in her old room kills me just a little bit.
Bedtime is usually the time of day I look forward to the most. She is playful and affectionate, and excited to be going to sleep. It's a bittersweet feeling - I'm about to get some time to myself which I look forward to, but I also need to say good night to my little daytime companion. These last couple of days though, I have dreaded bedtime. I hate to be thinking that a cold day might make a night in her new room more comfortable, but yes, I find myself wishing away the heat. I guess this is what motherhood does to you.
