Single Digits

It's all happening now. We move in under ten days and it's finally all coming together. As I suspected would happen, I am calmer now that everything is happening than I have been for weeks. I am having some very productive days (while still managing to catch up with people I want to try and get my fill of before we leave!) and although my mind just never quite stops whirring even after I've gone to bed, it feels good.

It is beginning to sink in. There've been a few tears. But ironically the loudest wake up call happened a few nights ago, when, at 4am I was tossing and turning, unable to sleep (instead going through to-do lists in my mind), and I checked my phone. The email that chose to arrive in my inbox at that moment triggered off emotions I can barely begin to explain.

It was nothing huge. It simply informed me that my "LOVEFiLM account is now cancelled and no further discs will be sent out."

You'd think an email like that would be a relief (considering how much I've heard about this being an account impossible to close). But no, it hit me pretty badly. Now before you think I've gone completely bonkers, look at it this way: our Lovefilm account was one of the first things we set up when we moved here back in 2006. It's one of those little things that's followed us from our first flat in London, to our second, to our house in Rochester.

And since then it's been a barrage of emotions. Granted, I am quite sure pregnancy hormones are making it worse but closing every single account and starting our goodbyes, even as impersonal as some have been - knowing the harder ones are yet to come, it all starts to add up.

We dropped by to peek at the first place we called home here in England the other day. It was very bittersweet and felt like we were revisiting a different life. The place still smelt the same (there is a certain smell to the air because of a factory nearby) and it really took us back. I imagine that one day, it will feel surreal to visit our current house too. 

So I think that perhaps it will have to be goodbye from me on this end too. My next update will most probably be from Malta, so wish us luck and a calm state of mind!!! Over the next few days we're certainly going to need it!