...And Then Leaving. Again.

In January 2013 we moved from the UK to Malta. It was a hard decision, a choice we'd been battling with for the better part of two years, and a huge risk. We had our reasons to do it, and so we decided to take that chance.

Sadly, a year on, we cannot truly say it was the right decision. There are still many factors that we would want to stay for (namely family and a few lovely friends), but there are many we regret and have made us doubt our decision and want to move on. While my pining for life in the UK hasn't calmed much, new opportunities tend to have a mind of their own (and David doesn't want to go back to the UK for now), so we've reached a compromise...

In March 2014 we will be moving to... Dubai!

Yup.

It's been a turbulent few months since the opportunity opened up to us in October 2013. We don't want to keep moving the children, and I am now desperate to grow roots somewhere. But do it somewhere we know isn't working for us to avoid taking another risk? It feels like settling for (less than) mediocre. It's not us. We wouldn't be happy long term. So we decided to go for it.

Do I wish we never moved to Malta in the first place? I thought so at first, when I was angry at the timing of it all. But I don't think so any longer. This year has given us an opportunity to build on certain relationships (mainly my brother and sisters) that never could have happened had we not been here. They were so young when we left Malta the first time, we were all completely different people then. We've now come to know each other as adults, and I love it, I love and respect them as individuals, no longer as my annoying little siblings (OK maybe sometimes!). My relationship with my parents, especially my mother, has improved. I've gotten to know David's parents better. I hadn't really had the chance before. We've learnt and we've grown.

This year has also answered a question that we had been asking ourselves for a while: would we be happier in Malta? We pretty much know the answer now.

On the down side, it would have been nice not to have almost entirely depleted our savings to move here from England. It would have been nice to have been able to give birth to Adam in the UK like I wanted to do (it also would have avoided all that drama). Emily LOVES her school and has a best friend she adores, Betsy, and it breaks my heart to end that so early and not give a friendship opportunity to blossom. So many things break my heart.

But they're young. Right now, it's more important for their parents to be happy, in order to keep the family unit happy. As long as they have security and lots of hugs, they'll be fine. Hopefully stability will come soon.

I cannot begin to explain how scared I am of making another wrong decision. All I know is that you don't fix a mistake by doing nothing about it. And that is why we're moving.