There are many things that scare me about the upcoming move. The list is so long, I won't even try and go into it. Much of it can't even be understood, it's subjective and short of anyone having been in this exact situation themselves (moving country two months before having a baby, and what are technically three house moves happening within six months), I don't even expect anyone to understand. It's just not possible.
But there's one little thing that keeps nagging at my mind. I am going to need to share Emily. Part of me feels like this will mean I won't be as special to her any longer, I won't be her Mummy the way I am now - her everything. There are going to be other people - those same people we want her to be able to have in her life - who, whether they mean to or not, are going to take away small pieces of what I have with her.
And although I know this is the way life works, and more importantly I know it will be good for her, it also absolutely terrifies me.
Oh Clare, I don't blame you for being scared. You've got so much on your plate right now! BUT, things will be just fine. Actually, they'll be much better than you can even imagine. Just wait and see. As for sharing Emily...our situations are very different but I had to learn to share Maia with a person who wasn't technically family, who then became so much more than family. The love she has for you will never ever change, remember that. You're the only mum she will ever have and nothing and nobody can take that away from you. The bond you share is unique and it will only get stronger the older she grows, I promise. x
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